Tags
being tired, deciding, for my dreams, giving up, incompetence, keep pushing, not enough, painful realization, rotting dreams, star gazing, tiring world, what is best
Prereading: Sorry if this blog’s title appears to be rude. I just want to share what I feel but I feel like there is no one to talk to. So, I have tried to write this up and pretend that someone will care to listen like blogospehere. I feel so alone. And I hate to admit it. I did not edit this blog, so I hope after clicking publish, I won’t be regretful.
_____________________________
It is hard trying to do the things that I loved to do but now hated. It is hard imagining the sunsets that you enjoyed before. It is hard recalling how the cold wind blew while you’re lying on the grass, gazing at the stars at 11 in the evening . How many times have I cried because I am alone? How many times have I doubted my decision? How many times have I typed the word “Mom, I’m tired. I need you.,” but ends up retyping it to “Hey Mom! How is it going there? Everything’s nice and happy here.” How many types have I questioned my incompetence? How many times have I just deny that I’m screwed up and ignored praying because I know that I can handle every single thing? How many times have I just tried to cry but ended up covering up the pain because I know crying is not just for me? I am trying to reach the stars that I’ve been gazing every single night. But, what if, in trying to get the star, my vision blurs, my heart breaks, and my soul rots? Should I give in to the circumstances and keep pushing? Or should I just give up and turn back? The world just requires so much of me. I am tired. I am drained, just so you know.
-Soul in Surreal
(Photo from 500px)
Eleanor Mulder said:
Tell your mum x
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soulinsurreal said:
I’m dying to tell her. But, I don’t want her to worry. 😦
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Eleanor Mulder said:
I’m sure she would want to know. And a worry halved x
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soulinsurreal said:
I’ll be seeing her first week of April. Thank you for your advice 🙂
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Eleanor Mulder said:
I always feel better when I’ve talked with my mum, and I hope my girls feel / will feel the same way.
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anghulinghugotero said:
Hey, it got my attention, so your title ain’t so bad. It served it’s purpose.
Yes, we all feel this. Doubt. Anxiety. Uncertainty. It’s what makes us human, or at least compassionate individuals. We doubt, we question ourselves because we want to fit in and we constantly edit ourselves so that we are not judged by others. I’m not saying you have to constantly conform to what the world demands, but what you are feeling is perfectly normal and if you need any help reach out here on WordPress, the community here is wonderful.
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soulinsurreal said:
Right! That’s why I posted this here. I was not even sure if this is a good platform for me to be posting, and perhaps ranting, this overwhelming emotions. Hmm. I am just so tired measuring up to the world’s expectations from me. I always want to be positive, but sometimes, the world is screaming at me, and I just want to run as fast as I can. Thank you very much for your words. I really appreciate it!
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anghulinghugotero said:
No problem ma’am ☺
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Jess said:
I wanna give you a super tight hug. 😚 I’m here if you wanna talk 😊
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soulinsurreal said:
Thank you very much, Jess 🙂
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Roberta Pimentel said:
A warm hug from me to you! ❤️
I’m glad that I found out about your blog. Thank you for following me 🙏❤️
Best of luck to your blog!
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soulinsurreal said:
Thank you very much. 🙂
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Opinionated Man said:
Hoping you are doing better and I also hope you return to the world of blogging! 🙂
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soulinsurreal said:
Hello. Been out for quite a long time. It’s hard to wear my shoes again and walk on.
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Opinionated Man said:
I hear that!
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revengestar said:
you got your shit together
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soulinsurreal said:
I hope it’s easy.
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elementhealing said:
I hope you are feeling better. Life can be confusing and frustrating. sometimes we do get tired of trying but it is always worth the effort.
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soulinsurreal said:
Right! Thank you very much. 😊
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